Perfectionism

Perfectionism and anxiety go hand in hand.  The unrealistic standards and the rigid demands of a perfectionist guarantee he/she will either fail at achieving what he/she sets out to do (because it's virtually impossible) or he/she burns out from working so hard to achieve it.  

Below are some useful tips that might help you if you struggle with perfectionism.

1.  Having to get it right has its advantages but also its disadvantages.  Advantage:  I'm the most reliable employee.  Disadvantage:  I always seem to feel like a failure - it's never quite perfect, is it? 

Make your own list and gage whether all that extra effort is actually worth it.  Do you ever feel that it's good enough?

2.  Perfectionism hides some very deep-rooted fears (losing control, disappointing others, feeling vulnerable).  Explore these and determine how you might have developed them.  They notice if these fears are based on your present day experiences or are they just residue from the past.  Maybe even give yourself permission to be 'not good enough' or 'out of control' for a day.  Was it so catastrophic?

3.  Set time limits rather than quality limits. I'll get this done in 30 minutes and stop there.  You may need to be flexible and lower your standards by only getting 70% done rather than 100% but think about how much more relaxed you will feel if you make the time to put your feet up and have a cup of tea...

Remember!  Enjoying the moment and the process rather than the end result is the key to reducing anxiety. 

Managing Your Performance Anxiety

Performance Anxiety (PA) is the anxiety or persistent fear aroused when required to perform in front of an audience.  Those completely new to performing and those who have done so for years  can suffer from performance anxiety (PA).    Famous people such as Kim Bassinger, Barbara Streisand and Sir Laurence Olivier all were afflicted with PA at some point in their lives.  For many of us, PA strikes when giving a presentation at work or a speech at a wedding. 

Fear is the core emotion in PA and it manifests itself with physical symptoms such as sweating, a racing heart, blushing, trembling, a dry mouth, nausea and/or a shaky voice.  A threat of failure or judgement from others is often at the root of PA.  Months of training, preparation and practice can be erased in an instant causing real or imagined negative effects to self esteem, career and status.

Here are some practical tips to help you overcome your performance anxiety if it is of a mild or moderate nature.  Psychotherapy, specifically Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, can be highly effective if you PA symptoms are on the severe range.

1.  Shift attention away from yourself towards your audience.  PA sufferers engage in common thinking errors that lead to emotional distress and self-focused attention (concentration turning inwards towards the self rather than on the task at hand).  This takes the individual out of the present distorting his perspective and putting him at risk of losing the relaxed awareness essential for a successful performance.  Take your time during your presentation and pause occasionally.  Pick a colour and search for it in the audience while pausing.  Ask your audience a question that will link you to the next part of your presentation.  Engage with the audience.  This will take self destructive attention away from yourself and redirect it constructively towards the people who matter.

2.  Avoid mindreading and get constructive feedback.  Ask questions about areas you struggled with.  What was problematic to you may not have been noticed nor have been an issue for the audience.  You are not a mind reader and attempting to do so will fuel your insecurities.

3.  Avoid Perfectionist thinking.  Be realistic!  Be prepared for your presentation, but don’t expect to know the answer to every question.  You can often bat questions back to the audience to add a participative dynamic to your presentation – again directing attention to your audience and away from you.   

4.   Gather Evidence – design a short questionnaire for all delegates to complete after your presentation.  Find out what they’re experience of your presentation was.  The questions should seek feedback on key aspects of the whole presentation – the facilities, presentation materials, presentation style, value of the content.

5.  Engage in relaxation and mindfulness techniques to cope with your physical responses to anxiety pre- and during the presentation.  The Alexander Technique is one such technique.

5 Tips to Combat Worry

Worry centres on future concerns and can be characterised by “what if” statements:   What if I lose my job? or What if he breaks up with me?  Worry affects most of us.  During a financially difficult period, you may wonder how you will pay your bills next month, for example.

For many people, however, the tendency to worry can become excessive leading to panic attacks, obsessions and a generalised feeling of anxiety that is difficult to attribute to any particular triggers.   Eventually, you may even worry about your inability to manage what is happening in your mind.  I can’t stop worrying, I am going crazy – what is wrong with me?

Some of the following tips on managing worry can be easily implemented into your everyday.  If you find yourself concerned about being a worrier, you may benefit from a psychotherapeutic intervention.  Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can be an effective treatment.

1) Worry Periods

Schedule two 15 minute Worry Periods during your day.  For example: 8:15am and 10:30pm.  You can only worry during these times.  Use a notebook for this exercise so you can problem solve during the worry time; you can also jot down concerns that may come to mind during the day.  This way you won’t worry about forgetting your worries before your next Worry Period.  If you find your mind worrying at other times, use another technique on this list and postpone it until your Worry Period.  You may be surprised about what you discover!  

2) STOP the cycle

This particular technique is helpful to stop the ‘habit’ of worry.  Experts have found that our tendency to worry has benefits, which is the reason why many of us worry:  it helps us prevent an undesirable situation, or perhaps it makes us more productive.  We may come across as more caring and responsible if we worry.  It can become a habit which assists us to cope. 

Unfortunately, the consequences of worry are considerable:  nervous tension, inability to relax, irritability, exhaustion, etc.  Worry can be managed oftentimes with a simple shock to the system.  A shout “STOP” accompanied by a loud clap of your hands often does the trick.  This helps bring your mind back to the present.

3) Distraction

Focusing your mind on an activity that you find enjoyable or engrossing is highly effective.  Picking up a magazine or a book can help to channel your mind in a direction other than ‘inwards’ to the catastrophes awaiting the Self.   Exercise, a film, a chat with a friend can all help you regain some control over your mind.

4) Catastrophising

Is the content of your worry by any chance involving negative outcomes?  Worst-case scenarios?   Identify the main thinking trap involved in worry (Catastrophising).  Exploring less devastating scenarios can bring balance to your thinking.

5) Feel:  don’t think!

Worry often hides a very disturbing emotion that you want to avoid feeling.  Take a moment – possibly during your worry period – to feel rather than think through that sense of vulnerability, grief, sorrow or embarrassment.  This may cause the worrying tendency to subside.  You are getting in touch with the emotional ‘worst-case scenario’ rather than worrying to prevent it.  This is most effectively done with the help of a therapist.

Give these techniques time to work.  Like training at the gym, you can’t expect to have developed muscles and strength after the first workout.  These skills require practice and commitment. 

 

Anxiety and Long-Term Stress

Stress is not such a bad thing. In fact, a moderate amount of stress in our lives can be quite beneficial, enabling us to thrive and achieve that little extra than we normally would achieve. Continued exposure to levels of stress that exceed our ability to cope, however, can be dangerous to our physical and emotional health.


The Mind
Study after study demonstrate the negative consequences of long-term stress on mental health. Anxiety and depression are direct results of our response to unrelenting and possibly overwhelming levels of pressure. In anxiety disorders, underlying beliefs revolve around doubting one’s coping abilities. In depression and low-self esteem, internal pressures (personal demands, ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’) and/or external pressures (work or academic overload) often cause and maintain the problem.


The Body
Prolonged levels of stress contribute to ill health in a number of ways:

Brain: Migranes, headaches, nervous ticks, compromised concentration and problem solving abilities

Memory: Permanent damage to the hippocampus (area of the brain responsible for short-term/working memory)

Cardiovascular System: Hypertension, chest pains; links have been found between stress and the body’s inability to break down cholesterol

Digestive System: Irritable Bowel Syndrome, abdominal pain, ulcers, indigestion and diarrhoea

Reproductive System: Infertility, impotence, loss of libido, menstrual disorders
Immune System: Negative effects on body’s ability to fight bacterial and viral infections

Other: Tiredness, loss of energy, and the eventual effects of illness on relationships, work and general quality of life.

Considering the negative consequences of prolonged anxiety levels, addressing the actual causes of stress in your life is essential to your wellbeing.  Tips on managing the physical and emotional responses to anxiety are also important - but obviously they won't address the root of the problem, just its symptoms. But they can help. 

Stay tuned!

For more information:
 http://www.pitshangervillagetherapy.com/